Version one

So here i sit, wallowing in my regret. Like oh so many others, with no difference in the mistakes accept that they are mine. I found my mysery hiding in my own self pity. I found my heart hiding right before my eyes. All of this time, i must have been blind. I found my brain hiding so far up my *** that every decision that i made was coated and followed with ****. I found my legs running from the truth, and i found my eyes fixed only on you. Forgive and forget is too much to ask. Forgive and forget is just too much to ask because fragile minds lead to decisions that cause perminent incisions. I live over and over again the mistakes that i have made. This music in my mind keeps my mode set at rewind. This rhythm keeps my concentration at bay. Its become so hard just to make it through the day. Pay attention. Pay attention so you may move on. Pay attention so you can live, not relive. Try to believe that everything happens for a reason, despite knowing otherwise. These are just little white life brightening lies. I cannot focus and i cannot decide if its caused by the sickness or the sadness. Or both. Throughout the day i put on a face, making simple conversations with simple people. And all the while, i know that they cannot be allowed near the real me. But ive found that there is beauty here if you know where to look. I will never leave. I will remain in the repeat. Its so sad that in all of ones dismay, only others can see their decay. We are blinded by the black fog of self pity, but all that this accomplishes is the darkening of ones dreams. Wake up. Your rainy days only wetten the cracks of the dry, desolute illusion you relentlessly bury yourself in. Reality is the oasis, not the wasteland.

Version two

So here i am, wading in the waters of regret and demand. Like so many others, with no variation in the mistakes accept that they are mine. I found my mysery hiding in my own self pity. I found the truth hiding right before my eyes. all of this time, blinded by my own discuise. I found my brain hiding so far up my *** that every decision that i made was coated and followed with ****. And after all of this time, i found my eyes still, fixed only on you. Forgive and forget is just too much to ask because fragile minds lead to decisions that cause perminent incisions. I live over and over again the mistakes that i have made. This rhythm keeps my concentration at bay. Its become so hard just to make it through the day. Pay attention so you can live, not relive. Try to believe that everything happens for a reason, despite knowing otherwise. These are just little white life salvaging lies. I cannot focus and i cannot decide,is it the sickness or the sadness. But ive found that there is beauty,found only at the end of the road. You will find salvation when there is nowhere else to go. For too long i have beeln blinded by the black fog of self pity, but all that this accomplishes is the darkening of ones dreams. Wake up. Your rainy days only wetten the cracks of the dry, desolute illusion that you bury yourself in. Reality is the oasis, not the wasteland.